In a surprise unanimous decision, town council passed a new bylaw today
regulating the use of 7th chords in non-urban environments.
One councillor said "I never liked that jazz stuff anyway so good riddance."
Most of the musicians I spoke with said they weren't sure
what a 7th chord was and so couldn't say whether they'd be missed.
However, a guitarist named K.I.M. ridiculed the council
and questioned their competence after pointing out the obvious
9th chord issues that the new legislation would create.
The council had previously promised absolutely definitely for sure
that both 7th and 9th chords would be left unregulated forever, but,
as several councillors pointed out, "things change".
Matters escalated when the guitarist attempted to cause a disturbance but
he garnered little support and was quickly escorted from the chamber
in handcuffs.
The aggressive electric guitar stylist remains in custody.
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